I am once again sitting on our living room floor, purification + grapefruit diffusing. I woke up feeling under the weather so Daniel went to epikos without me this morning. I watched a Francis Chan sermon on YouTube (how cool that we’re able to do that?) and took a page full of notes. I just finished a pretty slow tempo run to try and sweat out toxins so we’ll see if given a little more time, I start to feel better.
I don’t know what it is but lately I’ve had a pretty sour attitude. I know I should be filled with gratitude but instead, I focus on the opposite. I am bored of my closet, some clothes I’ve had since high school. Our home is a constant list of to-do’s, which I love doing but the list keeps growing faster than we can keep up with. Then there’s the ever nagging kid-talk playing on loop in my mind. We know we want to be parents but figuring out the “right” time to do that is daunting. (Disclaimer: Please refrain from the eye rolls. I know there is no “right” time. But for a planner and control fanatic, there needs to be some sort of right.)
I have noticed that during and after my runs, the endorphins are high and I am able to look at my life as it actually is. And I love it. I love our little house, our little cat (even though she isn’t always a fan of me). I love that we are so blessed to be able to afford a mortgage and two cars and food. We are so fortunate. Shifting my mindset from a M O R E mindset to a C O N T E N T mindset. And so, I have made running a daily addition.
One of my favorite things to do when I’m sick is organize. It’s one thing I can do to feel productive while my body wants nothing more than to lay on the couch. Going through what we own, organizing closets, rearranging, etc. also brings into perspective for me all that we do have and all that we can afford to get rid of. Stuff that is just that – STUFF taking up space. I read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up when we lived in our apartment and I need to get better at remembering that it isn’t about how much we have but the quality of what we have. And I think the quality of the life Daniel and I have is pretty great. Clinging to this always. Especially when I’m feeling sorry for myself for being sick. I’m trying to focus on self care August and here I am, wrapped in a blanket, diffusing clean, sick oils (hello, purification). Choosing not to beat myself up over this and instead, take the much needed break from the hustle and bustle. After I hit Publish, I’m going to run a hot shower and soak in epsom salt. Maybe get a little crazy and use a facemask. Who knows.
eastanywhere.com 