Kind of Love

Today was a day like any other day. Nothing special, nothing crazy (aside from Oakley’s house-training slips but we won’t mention those). It’s mid September which means despite today’s 80° weather, fall is coming. White chicken chili is on the stove and the yummy smell mixed with our fall candle provide all the cozy, comforting feelings.

This weekend, we’re leaving all of our responsibilities behind and trekking up to our friends’ lake house for some much needed rest and relaxation. And outdoorsy-campy-goodness. I haven’t felt like the best version of myself lately, I’ve become pretty good at nagging and I’m quick to snap, so I’m hoping this weekend provides a nice reset for me. With everything that has been going on, one verse that has been stuck with me since Daniel read it on Monday is:

As our first year of marriage goes on, I am noticing more and more how self-pleasing I am. I tell myself I am putting my husband’s needs before my own (pure) but more often than not, I find myself wanting expecting something in return for doing so (check my motives). This cycle has prompted me to reflect on my why. It’s mostly internally that I struggle with this – on the outside, I am helpful and kind and a loving Mrs. But I know my heart, God knows my heart, and more often than not, my motives fall short. Christ’s crucifixion didn’t teach us an “if-then” version of love. He taught us selfless love, compassionate, true love. A no-strings-attached kind of love. More of that kind of love.