Author: Hailey Madisen

Eleven months later…

The world basically shut down in 2020 but it was truly the best year of my life. Everything moved at a slower pace and we had the most perfect son. Woods has been the easiest baby to love; he just turned a year and a half this month and time seems to be flying with him. Everything I said when he was a newborn with, “I can’t wait for when he…” is starting to happen. He’s walking around so much, looking like a drunken sailor, his legs bowed and toes pointed out. He sleeps through the night (aside from when he had a nasty cold and all four of his one-year molars came in at the same time in the weeks between November and December. He is such a happy and content baby toddler. He loves throwing the ball for Oak and walking to the basement door to shove his toys, water cup and Daniel’s slippers through the cat door.

2021 is a total blur. I can’t believe I only wrote once; we were in the throws of babyhood and figuring out what it looked like for me to be a SAHM. We celebrated Woods’ one year birthday and grew a lot as parents and individually. Daniel got promoted at work so his title now matches all the work he has been doing and I am so proud of him. We had family pictures taken despite Daniel’s hatred for pictures but I still haven’t gotten around to framing them. We made the decision to leave epikos, even though we love the church, and return to our home church, SCC. It has been so refreshing and fulfilling being back and volunteering in the youth ministry again. We applied for passports for the three of us to go to Mexico with Daniel’s parents only to have them arrive three days after our plane took off. We celebrated the New Year with Chinese takeout and being in bed by 10:30. But most importantly, a few days following Woods turning one on July 16, we got pregnant with Baby Boy #2.

The end of January’s already crawling closer and I can tell Spring is coming because the nights have been staying lighter for longer. And by longer, I mean not getting dark by 4p. Instead, it’s dark a little after 5p but I’ll take what I can get. I’ve also been watching two additional kiddos everyday Monday-Friday and it’s been a blessing financially but also a huge test of my patience. We’re not sure what this will look like once #2 is here but we’ve had multiple conversations about what life will look like. If I know one thing, it’s that God always provides for us exactly what we need, when we need it. Officially today, we have only 3 months left until Baby’s here (April 22) and I have really been in my feelings about it. Daniel and I both want a big family (read 5 kids) but I never want my babies to feel replaced. I know Woods is too young to feel that emotion but I’m sure we’ll struggle with a little bit of jealousy from him about having to split our time between the two loves.

Our January house project was to convert Daniel’s music studio/junk room/temporary playroom into our master bedroom and I am l o v i n g it. It’s the smaller of the three bedrooms in our little brick ranch so it feels extra cozy. We painted an accent wall green and are eventually going to put wood slats to add a little fun detail. I am already dreaming up little sconces to hang above our nightstands and I’m thinking of pictures to hang in our room (and the rest of the house) to give it a more fun, relaxed and lived-in, cozy vibe. Nesting is in full swing over here and I am embracing every second.

The last few weeks have flown by. Fridays mark day one of a new week for baby and every new week lately I’ve been excited to check his progress on the app (5lbs, ~18″ today) while also wanting to pump the brakes and make the next 42 days last a little longer. We’ve been making progress on the nursery and have been given bags of hand-me-down clothes but I feel like we are no where close to being ready for his arrival. I’m hoping this is just my first-time-mom jitters. My shower is this Sunday which will hopefully make me feel more ready, surrounded by a majority of already-mom’s and unwrapping things from our registry.

We’ve also been making progress in other parts of the house. The kitchen counter is replaced, the backsplash is up and our bea-u-tiful new sink is installed and amazing. I almost don’t mind not having a dishwasher now. Almost. We’re nesting and organizing; Daniel has done a ton of yard work, too, which isn’t baby related but still feels like progress to me and adds to getting our little brick home ready for baby. We stuffed the back of Daniel’s Subaru with bags and bags for Goodwill the other weekend and seeing it all drive away was like a weight lifted. Mentally I felt lighter, too. Knowing there will be so much entering our home for baby thrills me but also makes me a little anxious – where are we putting it all?!

Kenzie’s bridal shower was last weekend which was so fun to see women I haven’t seen in a while, to have them coo over my growing baby belly. It made me feel a little more comfortable – as of late, I’ve felt dread with each look in the mirror at my growing body. I loved hearing that I carry so well and my bump looks oh so adorable. Soaking in all the affirmation, I refrained from bringing up the stretch marks on my inner and outer thighs and the fact that my “inny” belly button has all but flattened out. But I digress. Kenzie’s shower was loud and beautiful. The rose gold accents and display of colorful macaroons. The cheeseboard was made complete with Merlot BellaVitano and I think I ate about seven of the mini Sendiks sandwiches. Having the whole bridal party together for the first time was fun to see, too. I can’t wait to all be together again for the bachelorette party next weekend and the wedding-party in August.

The last update I can think is celebrating Memorial Day with the fam. All eight of us loaded onto dad’s boat for a Monday sail and came off sunburned and happy. I’m a personal fan of the first sunburn – is it even summer if it isn’t warm and sunny enough to burn you. I was surprised how well little boy did; I typically prepare for seasickness with ginger drops or pressure point bracelets but today I took no precautions and felt amazing. We ate brats and had coleslaw and then it was home to shower and apply aloe and enjoy the sunshine.

The weather as of late has been dreary and cold; typical for Wisconsin at this time but not helpful in any way for my mood or motivation levels. Today, though, the skies opened up, the sun came out and it was bea-uti-ful. There were so many fun little surprises to celebrate my birthday; Daniel’s parents had dropped off a cute little bag with balloons by our front door that I found when we woke up. New birks to replace my five-year old tattered pair. Rest assured, I’m still keeping my original pair because they are worn in and like a glove for my feet.

Daniel’s sister stopped over to drop off iced Starbucks and a piece of my favorite iced lemon cake. While she was over, the doorbell rang and a huge bouquet of white tulips was dropped off. HUGE. When we first started dating, I had told Daniel that I hated getting flowers (lie) because all they do is die (grumpy). I can’t believe this is what I have been missing out on but I should have known. Daniel doesn’t do anything halfway.

At noon, Daniel surprised me by coming home, saying he had talked to my boss and I had the rest of the day off. Husband of the year. I willingly shut everything down, got ready and we were off. A fancy drive-thru lunch of Culvers because I’m pregnant and it’s my birthday, and then a nice long walk around the river downtown. Cheese curds, sunshine, and an afternoon just the two of us.

It is wild to me that in a few short weeks, we will have a little babe to cuddle and love. I have always wanted to be a young mom and have a big family but the fact that this dream is actually beginning has yet to fully sink in. I really just can’t wait to watch Daniel become a dad — I already know he will be amazing.

Well, I think it’s about time for an update. This little blog has been neglected for too long.

Little bean has been growing like a weed (but picture something cuter than a weed). I feel him rolling around and kicking so much, I think he is running out of room. Apparently he’s over a foot long and weighs more than 2lbs. (HOW??) My next appointment is this coming Wednesday where I’ll hear the heartbeat and get my growing belly measured. Daniel won’t be able to come with me because of all the restrictions due to COVID-19 but my OB lets me record the heartbeat so I’ll have something to bring home to him. The following week, I’ll have to go back to the lab for the much dreaded glucose test. I wish Daniel could come with me to this appointment just in case I am one of the unlucky ones that ends up testing positive for gestational diabetes; I’m not sure how I’ll take that news or really what that even entails.

I have been working from home the last five or so weeks and it has been amazing. I can roll out of bed and work in my pjs all day if I want (and most days I want). It’s so nice not having to put on jeans, especially with this belly of mine. It has definitely been something to get used to, feeling proud of a growing body. Our groomsman-roommate moved out this past Saturday and immediately my mom and sisters were over to help me clean, paint and begin the nursery. IKEA had delivered the crib the day prior and Daniel wasted no time assembling it right in the living room. It’s little, non-verbal things like this that show me how truly excited Daniel is for this pregnancy and to be a dad which makes me even more excited to see him as a dad. Heart-eyes.

The beginnings of what will be little bean’s room. Even since this initial photo, we’ve added the cutest pillow and stuffed elephant to his crib, a floor lamp with shelves and a toy bin. We don’t have much of a “theme”; the color scheme being whites and a whole lot of grays. Next on my to-do is replacing our wedding photos with little nursery photos. I’m leaning towards the cutest water color prints of little animals I found on Etsy. Pics to follow!

Besides the nursery, we have been doing a. lot. of nesting. From a new bathroom shower curtain, to new bedroom and dining room rugs to a kitchen island and countertop. We’re on a roll and this little house of ours is becoming more of a cozy home. The three-month countdown is giving us all the motivation we need. As of tomorrow, I only have 13 weeks left if little bean comes on his exact due date of July 24. I am just as excited as I am anxious.

Temperatures reached a little over 60° today and my little Wisconsin heart did cartwheels. We turned off the heat, opened a few windows and spent the majority of the afternoon in our backyard. We weren’t the only ones that loved the sunshine – Oakley was in his element. Running all over the grass, prancing back proudly with sticks double his size, retrieving the tennis ball Daniel would throw. The sun was warm and the air smelled like Spring. Like fresh, like new.

Earlier this weekend, Daniel went to pick up a grill his dad had offered us and the last two afternoons, I have been giddy for us to use it. Today was the perfect day — we fired it up and flipped burgers over it, lightly toasting the pretzel buns towards the end for something extra. The smell of the grill and the nighttime sunshine made me nostalgic. Playing in the backyard as my dad grilled, scraped elbows, dirty knees, tangled hair. I can’t wait for our kids to be playing in the backyard and start creating all the fond memories I look back on now.

It’s only 8:18p but we’re already tucked in bed; Daniel has an early morning tomorrow with a meeting at 5a and for now, I’m sitting up feeling little Bean’s kicks every so often, in awe of what a miracle his little life is and how God designed the female body. Only 138 days until my due date, until I can hold this little baby that we created… I know the days will fly by, seeing as the last 110 days since we found out I was pregnant have felt like a blink. We should probably start on the nursery soon but for now, I’m soaking in this second trimester.

My morning sickness kicked in right around the 7-week mark and it has lasted basically all day. I am constantly hungry but feel nauseous at the thought of any food. Pizza doesn’t even sound good anymore. Hack: I’ve been keeping Tums and pita chips in my bedside table for first thing in the morning, along with a Hydroflask that I fill with water and ice every night. This gives me a head start on handling the morning sickness first thing and it seems to ward it off until at least 9AM. I’ll take the 3 hours of peace.

A few notes for my future self:

Cravings: Iced tea, orange juice, cottage cheese, cold subs with extra mayo and lettuce (I could have kissed my OB when she said she ate deli meat for the entirety of her two pregnancies and there is no longer a risk with this in 2020).

Aversions: Brussel sprouts, the thought of pizza/cheese, warm meat

I’m sleeping so much but somehow always end up exhausted by midday. I’m extra emotional (yes, even for me) and my body is seeing the most changes – chest, stomach, skin…

Relationally: Daniel is taking his new dad-to-be-role very seriously and I think being pregnant has made him more affectionate. He pays special attention to what the doctors say and brings it up later during conversation, I think to show that he is listening.

Little bean is officially 18 weeks old and apparently the size of a cucumber. I think it’s kind of strange checking the app weekly to see what size produce we’ve made it to but I guess visually it’s the easiest comparison.

I have really felt my cravings die down — I don’t crave subs, ice cream or green tea like I used to but my nightly bathroom breaks have yet to stop. I’m also eating less (thank goodness) because I no longer have to curb the nausea. I had my first round of heartburn last night waiting for our table at dinner with Sadie and Michael and let’s just say I’d take the first trimester nausea. (But if I really had my way, I’d do without either.)

We had our anatomy scan Friday morning and little bean is looking healthy and growing well. We also found out the GENDER which I have been dying to know. Daniel and I both want a boy which might be why I’ve felt like I’m having a girl… trying not to get my hopes up. The Chinese calendar told me I’m having a girl but my salt cravings as well as the baby’s heart rate apparently indicate a boy. Later this afternoon, Daniel and I are meeting our families at Zachariah’s Acres for a gender reveal and I cannot wait for everyone to know!

My first baby purchase were these cute little moccasins and unwrapping them gave me all the cute aggression. It also made this pregnancy feel a little more than just bloat, however, I am finally starting to “pop” (as everyone has referred to it as). It’s so crazy to think that this 5-6oz nugget currently growing inside of me will one day fit into these tiny shoes. And then just as quickly, will one day be too big for these tiny shoes. (I know, I’m getting ahead of myself.)

Today, our little orange-sized bean is officially fourteen weeks and two days. I am finally starting to see what will soon grow to be a pregnancy bump more than just pregnancy bloat (hallelujah). I’m starting to need a little bigger pants and have added leggings as a normal part of my weekly wardrobe. At home, it’s all dresses – the looser the better.

I am starting to like eggs for breakfast again and I’ve had more energy to make dinners in the last few weeks. I’m noticing I’ve needed a little less sleep too, however, I’ve grown accustom to 8:30p bedtimes and don’t see this changing any time soon. I love ice water and find myself most thirsty right before bed (which is extremely unfortunate come 12:30a but I’m now used to waking up for middle of the night bathroom break(s) since my first trimester so I won’t be giving this up anytime soon).

The other week, I read a few articles after my heart had been feeling like butterfly wings in my chest for a few minutes. Apparently this is because my body is producing so much extra blood and my heart rate is about 25% faster than usual. This is crazy to me that being so early on in my pregnancy, my body is already experiencing physical changes I can actually notice. I can’t wait for this little bean to keep growing and to finally feel his/her kicks.

On February 21st, we find out the gender and I’m trying not to think about it because when I do, my heart races even faster and I can’t stop thinking about it. I wonder what their little personality will be like and what they’ll look like (even though Daniel and I already decided they’ll have bleach blonde hair for the first few years since both of us did growing up). We haven’t even started on the nursery yet but come February 21st, I know that will be all I can think about and focus on. I have always said that I only want boys; five of them to be exact. But now as this little bean grows, I find myself having less and less of a preference, so long as they’re healthy.

I wrote this post a while back and finally have worked up the nerve to post it. Enjoy.

Almost all of November, I have been going to sleep before Daniel. Which wouldn’t seem like a big deal if that didn’t mean going to sleep before 8p. I attributed it to being extremely busy during the day and treadmill running after work, etc., but one Tuesday mid-month, Daniel finally convinced me to take a pregnancy test so we could rule that out; otherwise, he said we should schedule an appointment with my doctor. That night, I left the little pink stick wrapped on the bathroom windowsill for the required 3 minutes and tried to busy myself during the longest 180 seconds of my life. When the timer went off, I brought it out to Daniel, hand shaking, eyes wide and a smile, “I’m pregnant.”

Daniel has been talking about kids since we started dating. He also isn’t one to show a lot of emotion. That night, however, he could not wipe the smile off his face. He held the stick in his hand, trying to argue with me as to not get his hopes up. The second line is really faint, does it really count? You’re sure two lines means pregnant? He even tried tilting it in different lighting, “just to be sure”. I took a second test the following morning when hormones are supposed to be stronger and, lo and behold, pregnant. I told Daniel that his smile was larger with this news than it had been at our wedding which only made him smile more, trying to hide it.

We met with my doctor the following day as a final confirmation and she gave us a few tips and pointers about the first trimester and finding an OB. She said my love for a warm Starbies will have to be put on hold as espresso isn’t recommended; same with using hot tubs or cleaning Nova’s litter box. The latter actually thrilled me (sorry, Daniel). She asked if I had noticed any changes the last few weeks — at this appointment, it had been 6-weeks since the beginning of my last cycle (TMI?). Again, I hadn’t even thought to attribute anything I had experienced to being pregnant. I had noticed certain parts of my body were a little more tender, but that went hand-in-hand with the cramping I had felt, so I must be getting my period soon. The iced tea craving every other day was just for something iced and yummy. The exhaustion was because of how hard I was working (pats self on back). She smiled at my naïveté and said, now that I know, to pay closer attention and listen to what my body is saying. Sleep when I need to, eat when I need to. Give in to cravings (this was my favorite thing to hear). We have a lot to learn and a long road ahead but for now, I just know I have to take it easy, listen to my body, and keep this little nugget growing.